A missed tram or a sharp word over breakfast can colour the rest of your morning. Here are four ways to give the day a second chance.
By the time you squeeze onto the tram, you’ve missed breakfast, snapped at someone you love and read an email that begins ‘Just following up’. It’s barely nine and you’ve already decided what sort of day this is going to be. Keeping a positive mindset can begin with questioning that prediction. What could still go well between here and lunchtime?
Give the setback its proper size
Listen for the word ‘always’. After a difficult meeting, ‘I always make a mess of these things’ can feel like a fair account of the last hour. Try describing what a colleague in the room could actually have seen. Perhaps you lost your place when someone asked about the figures. The rest of your presentation went much as you’d planned.
That narrower account gives you something to work with. You can send the missing figure this afternoon and put it at the top of your notes next time. It also gives you permission to enjoy lunch. If your thoughts are still racing, try Together’s guide to clear thinking in a distracted world.
Plan for the mood you’re actually in
Suppose the evening you’d set aside for a run arrives and the thought of changing clothes, finding your keys and heading out in the drizzle finishes you off. What appealed to you about the run in the first place? If it was fresh air and a little time to yourself, walk to the bakery the long way round. If it was company, ring the friend you usually run with. You can keep the part of the plan that matters to you. For more on choosing what suits you today, read our feature on making better everyday decisions.
Ask someone a better question
When a disappointment follows you home, it helps to tell a friend what sort of conversation you want. ‘Could I have five minutes to grumble, then help me think about what to do tomorrow?’ is a perfectly reasonable request. So is ‘Fancy a coffee? I’d love to hear about your weekend.’ Sometimes the most welcome change of perspective is finding yourself halfway through somebody else’s story.
Keep one detail from the day
Before bed, see if you can recall one thing you’d happily do again. Be particular. Maybe you got off the tram a stop early and spotted the first lights coming on in the flats above the shops. Perhaps your daughter stayed at the table a little longer because you asked her to play you a song. Specific details tell you something about how you like to spend your time. They also give you an idea for tomorrow.
And if tonight all you can remember is snapping at someone over breakfast? Start there. ‘I was rushed this morning and I spoke sharply. I’m sorry. Shall I put the kettle on?’ You can have had a thoroughly difficult day and still choose a kinder way to end it.
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