What Do You Really Want Your Life to Look Like?

What would your life look like if things went exceptionally well?

Not next month. Not next year. Think much further ahead.

Imagine yourself eight, nine or ten years from today. Where are you living? Who wakes up beside you? What kind of work are you doing? How healthy are you? How much freedom do you have? Who surrounds you? And, perhaps most importantly, what kind of person have you become?

Most of us spend far more time planning a holiday than planning our lives. We react to opportunities, responsibilities and problems as they arrive, without ever developing a detailed picture of where we actually want to go.

The following exercise is designed to change that.

Don’t try to give impressive answers. Give your answers. Forget for a moment about what is realistic, what other people expect from you or what you think you should want.

Take a notebook, open a blank document, and imagine meeting your future self.

Step 1: Imagine Your Life 9 Years From Now

Choose a date approximately nine years in the future and imagine waking up that morning.

Don’t describe a fantasy character. Describe the person you genuinely hope to have become.

Your Home and Lifestyle

1. Where are you primarily living?
2. What does your home look like?
3. Do you have other homes or places where you regularly spend time?
4. What does an ordinary Tuesday look like, from the moment you wake up until you go to bed?
5. How much of your time belongs completely to you?

Don’t just imagine holidays and exceptional moments. Your ordinary Tuesday is arguably a better measure of a successful life than your best week of the year.

Step 2: Imagine Your Work

1. What work are you doing?
2. What have you built, created, acquired or achieved?
3. Are you running a business, investing, employed, creating, teaching, travelling, retired—or combining several of these?
4. How many hours a week do you work?
5. Which parts of your work do you personally do because you love them, rather than because you have to?
6. What work have you completely stopped doing?

Now ask yourself a harder question:

If you could only build or accomplish ONE major thing during the next decade, what would you want it to be?

Don’t start by thinking about money. Think about the problem you would like to solve, the people you would like to help and the contribution you would be proud to have made.

Step 3: Define Financial Freedom

Money isn’t everyone’s primary measure of success, but financial freedom can profoundly influence the choices available to us.

1. What would financial abundance mean to you?
2. What would your ideal net worth be?
3. What would you actually own—business equity, investments, property, savings or other assets?
4. How much annual income would you need to live exactly as you want?
5. What would you do differently if money were no longer a concern?

Then try this thought experiment:

If €50 million suddenly appeared in your bank account tomorrow, what would you spend the next ten years doing?

Your answer may reveal something important about what you actually want.

Step 4: Picture Your Relationships

A successful future is not only about what you own or achieve.

1. Who are the most important people in your future life?
2. What does your relationship with your partner look like?
3. What relationship do you have with your children, parents, siblings or extended family?
4. How frequently do you see the people you love?
5. Who are your closest friends?
6. What kind of people surround you professionally and socially?
7. Are there relationships you want to repair, deepen or devote more time to?

Imagine having achieved every financial goal you ever set yourself but having lost the relationships that matter most.

Would you consider that success?

If not, those relationships belong in your future plan just as much as your career and financial goals do.

Step 5: Design Your Future Health

Now picture your future self physically.

1. What do you look like?
2. How fit, strong and energetic are you?
3. What sports or physical activities do you regularly enjoy?
4. What does your diet look like?
5. What habits have become completely normal?
6. What would you need to do consistently between now and then to become that person?

Try to make this measurable rather than simply writing “healthy” or “fit.”

Your future self isn’t created by one extraordinary January. That person is largely the result of thousands of ordinary decisions repeated over many years.

Step 6: Think About Experiences, Not Possessions

Imagine looking back over the previous decade.

1. Which countries have you visited?
2. What adventures have you experienced?
3. What have you done with your family that you’ll remember forever?
4. What new skills have you learned?
5. Which people have you met?
6. What have you attempted that frightened you?
7. What would you deeply regret reaching old age without ever attempting?

Write your own “I don’t want to reach old age without…” list.

It may tell you more about your priorities than another list of financial targets.

Step 7: Decide What You Want to Be Known For

Imagine you’re at a dinner and someone is introducing you to another guest.

You can’t hear the conversation.

What would you love them to be saying about you?

Not just your job title.

What kind of person are they describing?

37. Complete this sentence:

“People who know me well would say I am someone who…”

38. Then complete:

“The achievement I am most proud of is…”

39. And finally:

“The positive impact I have had on other people’s lives is…”

This is the difference between thinking about what you want to have and thinking about who you want to become.

Step 8: Remove Everyone Else’s Expectations

This section requires more honesty.

Ask yourself:

If nobody could ever know how much money I had, what would I want?

If nobody could see my house, car, job title or achievements, what would I still pursue?

If I knew I couldn’t fail, what would I attempt?

If I knew I had only ten healthy years remaining, what would I stop doing immediately?

That final question can be particularly revealing.

Write down at least five things.

They might be projects, obligations, habits, relationships, worries or activities that consume your time without contributing meaningfully to the life you’re trying to create.

Step 9: Create Three Different Futures

Rather than assuming there is only one successful version of your future, create three.

Future A — Comfortable

Life has gone well. You’re financially secure, healthy, surrounded by people you love and generally happy.

What does that life look like?

Future B — Exceptional

You’ve exceeded most of your expectations.

What have you built? Where do you live? What freedom do you have? What experiences are possible? What impact are you making?

Future C — No Limits

Forget probability temporarily.

If things went extraordinarily well—far beyond what currently seems reasonable—what could your life become?

Describe it without censoring yourself.

Then read all three futures and ask:

Which future makes me feel most alive when I imagine pursuing it?

The answer doesn’t necessarily mean you should blindly pursue that scenario. But it deserves investigation.

Step 10: Work Backwards

Once you can see your future, stop looking forward.

Start working backwards.

If your chosen future is approximately nine years away, ask:

Six years from now, what must already be true for that future to remain realistic?

Consider your career or business, finances, family, health, lifestyle and relationships.

Then move closer.

Three years from now, what must already be true?

What have you built? What do you own? Where are you living? Who is around you? What have you stopped doing? What condition are you in physically?

Then ask:

What are the three most important things that must happen during those three years?

Now come back to the next 12 months.

What needs to happen this year?

And finally:

What should I do during the next 90 days?

Suddenly, an abstract dream begins turning into decisions.

The Question That Connects Your Future to Today

There is one final question.

40. What am I doing today that is inconsistent with the person I say I want to become?

Perhaps you’re spending too much time on work that doesn’t matter.

Perhaps you’re postponing the business you’ve always wanted to start.

Perhaps your health is always going to become a priority “next month.”

Perhaps you’re accumulating possessions when what you really want is freedom.

Perhaps you’re spending too little time with the people who matter.

Or perhaps you’re simply moving very quickly without being entirely sure you’re moving in the right direction.

Your future self isn’t a prediction.

It’s a compass.

You don’t need to know exactly how you’ll reach that future today. The business may change. Your ambitions may evolve. Relationships, opportunities and circumstances will inevitably alter the route.

But knowing the direction changes the decisions you make now.

So take an hour this week. Put your phone away. Find somewhere quiet and answer these questions properly.

Then read your answers from beginning to end.

You may discover that the life you thought you wanted isn’t quite the life you actually want.

Or you may discover something even more powerful:

You already know where you want to go.

You simply haven’t started working backwards yet.

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