Jack Canfield grasps the power of a promise as a way to jumpstart the personal- change process. Best-selling author John Assaraf also gets it. As he explained in an interview for my book: “There is something uniquely powerful about making a promise that goes beyond traditional goal-setting. Setting a promise takes it to a
whole new dimension. We are neurologically wired to keep our promises.”
Fortunately, the power of a promise is not the exclusive province of personal development authors and self-help gurus. It’s something we all can readily access. In his book, Promise Me, Dad, former U.S. Vice President Joe Biden recounts the moving story of his son, Beau, who was losing his battle against brain cancer. Close to the end of his life, Beau asked his father to promise him that he would be OK after Beau passed away. At first, Biden responded vaguely that he would be OK. But that wasn’t good enough for Beau. He made his father promise that he would be OK, that he would not use Beau’s death as a reason to turn in but as a reason to turn out, to continue to be engaged and not to withdraw from public life.
Joe Biden made a heartfelt promise to his dying son. Hence the title of the book: Promise Me, Dad. It’s my personal belief that Joe Biden decided to run for President of the United States at least in part because he made that promise to his son.
This story captures the unique potency of the word ‘promise’. It also underscores how powerful it can be to turn New Year’s resolutions into New Year’s promises. Words really do matter. Napoleon Hill, author of the self-help classic Think and Grow Rich, recognized the power of making a promise as part of the first step in his five-step self-confidence formula for achievement. Here’s how Hill describes what readers should say to themselves: “Step One: I know that I have the ability to achieve the object of my definite purpose in life; therefore, I demand of myself persistent, continuous action toward its attainment, and I here and now promise to render such action.” (My emphasis.)
Many of us – millions of us – watch videos, attend workshops, or read self-help books and articles on topics as wide-ranging as improving your health, finding your soul mate, handling finances, being a better parent, building a money- making business and expanding your consciousness. At some point most, if not all, of these programmes will bring up the subject of setting goals. As well they should, since goal-setting is an excellent and even essential tool for clarifying what we really want to be, do and have.
The unique power of making a promise derives from the fact that a promise is heart-centric. Unlike goals, intentions or resolutions, a promise comes from the heart and it’s backed by a deep emotional commitment.
Making a promise is your secret weapon in your personal-change arsenal. If you really want to make positive changes in your life in 2020 — perhaps lose weight, get fit, start a business, find another job, learn a foreign language, quit smoking or write a book — the first thing to do is to make a heartfelt promise. Doing so unleashes an irresistible force that will help you follow through.
Why? Because most people are loath to break their promises. We all know instinctively since we were kids that it’s wrong to break a promise. Most of us will bend over backwards to keep our word. A promise is a promise after all.
Always remember: you can change a goal or resolution but you can only break a promise. There’s a big difference between the two. And as the expression goes in French: ‘Vive la différence.’ If you tap into the power of a promise in 2020, it could make a world of difference in helping you reach your goals this year and beyond.
Matthew Cossolotto is a former speechwriter. Author of several self-help books. He conducts public speaking workshops and other Personal Empowerment programs in Brussels and beyond. www.ThePodiumPro.com, Matthew.Cossolotto@gmail.com
