Self-Help: Finding your gifts


For many years I believed I had zero gifts and talents. I believed I didn’t possess any specific skills, as I wasn’t good enough at any one thing. I believed having a job you truly loved was for the very small minority.

These beliefs were further solidified every time I sent my CV to a company applying for a new job… and there were tons of those. In fact, in a 12-year period, I changed jobs eight times – can you imagine how many CVs I had to re-write and send?

Whenever I pulled out my CV, I’d always look at the “interests” section and release a big sigh. “Why aren’t I any good at anything?” I could never think of anything else to write other than “socializing, reading books, traveling and organizing charity events.” It was my story and one I told to whomever would listen. It went something like this: “I wish I was good at something, every time I send my CV for a job, I can never think of anything to write in the interests section, can you? I mean I wasn’t born with any particular talents, not like the lucky ones who are good at singing or dancing or acting or painting or playing sports or musical instruments.”

My story happened to be the truth. I wasn’t any good at those things. So I trudged along searching for a job that at least made me happy and felt rewarding. Every time I thought I had it, it didn’t take long before I was bored to tears and going on a new search for the next best thing. And that was my life, always searching for something more but never quite finding what I wanted. This left me feeling unhappy, unfulfilled and unsuccessful.

Looking back from where I am now, I can giggle at the way I saw myself. Ungifted? Pah!

I couldn’t have been further from the truth. I have gifts coming out of my ears, the problem I had back then was that I had idea how to identify them.

This is the same for those of you who also think and believe you aren’t gifted. You are a gifted soul! How do I know? Because your soul wouldn’t have chosen to incarnate in this and every lifetime if you didn’t have gifts to share with the world. You also wouldn’t be reading this article right now.

Here are three ways you can start to recognize your inherent gifts:

1. What did you love to do as a child?

I was always the centre of attention, wanting to put on a show and make people laugh. On play dates, I would gather all of my friends and direct and act in some sort of play. Then I would actively find the audience. This was the “performer gift” in me fully expressing itself. Sadly these gifts stopped being nurtured as I grew into an adult. Thankfully, I recovered them and now successfully use these gifts to speak to large audiences and host workshops. And there was me thinking for all those years, I wasn’t good at any one thing!

If you have children, you can easily pick up on their particular gifts by observing how they play and what they enjoy doing most. Make it a top priority to nurture these gifts in them – they’ll thank you when they’re older!

Close your eyes, cast your mind back to playtime, either with friends or when you were alone. Watch the child that you were as though you were watching someone you know. What is this little person doing naturally and effortlessly? Write them down and let yourself connect with them.

2. What do you collect?

“Unexpressed gifts” have to reveal themselves in some way. Take a look at the things you collect without thinking of them as a collection or hobby. Here’s an example for you. A woman came to me because she felt her life was stuck and she didn’t know how to move forward. I asked her to take a look around her home and pick out the things she had an abundance of. Very quickly, through a little giggle, she said there were pens everywhere. When I asked her if she kept a diary or took time to write, she said no, but that it was something she always wanted to do.

I told her straight out: “Your soul is telling you that you have the gift of writing. Start by journaling what’s on your mind. Exercise your writing muscle and soon enough it will flow out of you without you having to try.” She took a moment and connected with this part of her and immediately felt unstuck. This was also true for another client who collected notepads and journals. She has such a beautiful way of expressing herself through her writing but never saw it as a gift to pursue. And then there’s yours truly, who had been collecting pens and notepads for years without ever thinking there was a reason why! The message here to all three of us (and you if you do the same) was to get writing and let those gifts flourish!

What do you collect and what are they reflecting back at you? Take some time to be quiet and still, you have all the answers!

3. What do people tell you you’re good at but you pass it off as nothing?

Your friends and family will have told you a million times, “Oh, you’re so good at….” and each time you’ll shrug it off and pass a comment along the lines of how easy it is and anyone can do it. Stop right there! Not everyone can do what you do, the way you do it, these are your gifts and you are unique. Combined, your gifts and talents are like no others.

Ask the people closest to you what you do that they can’t and straight away you’ll get an insight into your gifts. You express your gifts and talents easily and effortlessly, that’s why you’re able to do them so well without ever realizing how valuable they are.

Take some time to become aware of the things you do easily, which other don’t find as easy to do. Then take notice of the situations you tend to be in when these gifts are flowing. You’ll be amazed at what you’ll discover about yourself.

Finally, just know, you are here for a reason. You have lots to share with the world and when you truly connect with your natural gifts and talents you will feel happier and more fulfilled.