Step 2: Improve my self-confidence: According to the many videos watched on YouTube, it is absolutely necessary to modify the inner speech: to be well wishing, to seek the sweetness, to speak intelligently to oneself without lying, to be clear, to speak to oneself as one would like to be spoken to. It is also important to build your own benchmark: when will I consider that I have improved my self-confidence? What are my real goals? It is also important to remind oneself of our natural qualities and accomplishments, to give recognition to others and to feed ours.
Incidentally, a friend reminded me of Basic Needs Theory as described by Maslow. She had the intuition that my cyclic time bombs were not merely due to my hormones. Maslow breaks down needs into two categories: lower and higher needs. The former include physiological needs (food, hydration, sleep, breathing) and safety needs. As long as the physiological needs are not satisfied, the organism remains dominated by the latter, relegating the other needs to the background. These are the most dominant needs of any living being. In a state of dissatisfaction, these needs represent the single goal towards which the whole organism is mobilized, making any other need irrelevant or even non-existent. Once satisfied, these physiological needs disappear (temporarily), allowing the emergence of another less dominant need.
The need for security encompasses the needs of stability, structure, order, justice, protection, laws and boundaries. This need for security, if satisfied, allows the individual to free himself from fear, anxiety and chaos and induces a sense of strength and control of his world. In a peaceful situation, this need for security manifests itself mainly through the desire for a stable and protected job, the desire to save, the preference for what is familiar with the unknown, the need to live in a coherent society etc. The greater the dissatisfaction of this need, the more the security is sought, through employment, a source of protection assured by another.
This feeling of security is built up in childhood apparently, because of the assurance of parental protection and the sense of security felt by the parental couple themselves. When the physiological needs are met and the security needs are relatively met, then the so-called higher needs can emerge. In my case, the lack of security resonates with me. I strongly believe that it can also come from an imbalance of the first chakra. The root chakra is responsible for our relationship to life, our anchor and our ability to be stable and feel safe.
Higher needs include the need for love and belonging. Every individual is driven by the needs of love, affection and belonging to a group. The need for love manifests itself as much in the need to give as to receive affection. In the absence of satisfaction of this need, the individual feels a thirst for relationships or a place in the social group.
Following this reading I started asking myself a lot of questions: What are my achievements that I would like to see recognized? Do I grant myself the recognition I would like to receive from others? How? When? From whom, precisely, do I want recognition? About what? What signs? And how does my need for social belonging manifest itself? Which groups do I belong to? To what extent is my need for social inclusion satisfied? Which groups do I want to join? What’s stopping me? What can I put in place to fully satisfy my need for belonging?
Step 3: Coaching: Faced with all these questions, I resumed myself. Although I am myself a coach and mentor, I strongly believe it is healthy to remain accompanied for those moments of life where everything is a little shadier. So I decided to go back to a regular coaching with a trusted person, aligned with my current needs and values to help me evaluate my progress and help me to keep the pace. It is with this person, mentor that I will continue the path of my vibratory elevation that requires the cleansing of my residual shadows. I am geared to keep dancing with ease, joy and glory whatever the circumstances, for life is all there is. All the rest is mental edification.
